Monthly Archives: February 2013

Valentines Day Supper

Valentines Day and Aspergers go together like oil and water. I have tried for years and years to “shake them up” and get them to mix, but they just don’t. This year, I decided to do something differently.

About 3 weeks ago, while driving in the car with Daryl, I had a lightbulb moment about Valentines Day. I suggested we do a Valentines supper, invite some friends over, and just share the time with people that we enjoy being with. I told him if he would help me a little with the preparation, we could call it good, and he didn’t need to get me anything extra. It sounded like a good plan.

As the weeks got closer, I began to gather the things I would need to pull off my plan. I already had a heart-shaped waffle iron, and knew that I would make a nice waffle supper. I picked up some Valentine M&Ms and some chocolate Hershey hearts wrapped in foil to toss around the table, and a cheap white table cover to make it a little festive. I am always on the hunt for cute paper plates, so I had some trendy square plates, sporting a fun springy theme, that would work just fine for a Valentines Day supper.

Daryl kept his end of the bargain, with some gentle reminding, and helped me by getting two loads of dishes through the dishwasher today, and I got started on the decorations. I covered the table and tossed around the candy and found a few candles that were pink and white. I put the plates around and grabbed the vase of flowers from the breakfast table in the kitchen. Things were starting to take shape.


Our Valentine celebrations in the past have been anything but romantic or happy, and through experiences that neither one of us want to repeat, a general consensus was established. See’s Candy is an appropriate gift for Valentines Day. So, today, as I was setting the table, Daryl brought in this “expected” gift, said “Here”, handed it to me, and headed upstairs. Yup, that’s how it’s done. No kiss. No hug. No “I love you.” It’s the AS way. I’ve learned to accept it and be happy anyway.

So I added the heart box of candy to the table decorations.


We then filled our plates and sat down to our meal. Unfortunately, none of our friends were able to come (I only asked one family), so we just enjoyed it with the 5 of us. I was delighted to find out that Daryl bought a tiny heart box of See’s candy for Kaelyn as well, and thanked him for doing that.


The menu was heart-shaped waffles, toppings, scrambled eggs, and miniature shish-ka-bobs, that Kendrick made on toothpicks! Aren’t they cute?


We shared a happy meal together as a family.


The food was tasty and most importantly, there were no disappointments, no inflated expectations, and everybody did their part to help make it a special day. The boys cleaned up the dishes afterwards while the rest of us enjoyed a few moments to relax.

I think it’s possible this could become a Valentines Day tradition, only next year, I’ll send out some invitations ahead of time so people will have a chance to make it a priority on their calendars.

By KMc
© 2013 GraceWithoutTears. All rights reserved.

Broken Wrist (Graphic Photos)

There never  ceases to be excitement around this home.  Unfortunately, it seems to be of the negative nature a lot of the time.

A couple of weeks ago, up at 49 Degrees North Ski Resort, Darien broke his arm.  As a Ski Host up there, I am often busy doing my own thing and my kids ski all over the entire mountain without me.  After going regularly for 4 seasons now, I am not worried about them getting lost, and I’m generally not worried about them getting hurt.  All 3 children are proficient snowboarders and can keep up with all of their friends when they’re on the mountain.

On this particular day, I was helping two girls down the mountain the easy way, just before closing.  When I got them safely to the lodge, I was greeted at the bottom with a wave from the Aid Room.  There is nothing worse than seeing your own child waving to you from the First Aid Room.  It was Kendrick, who looked to be in one piece, telling me to come, and hurry!

I took off my skis and went inside to find Darien with a first aid ski patroller.  They had his wrist wrapped with ice on it.


He looked more disgusted than he did in pain, and I was disgusted as well.  My mind began churning regarding the finances and how we were going to pay for a broken bone, the necessary ER visit, and all the followup afterwards.  We had just been through a dislocated shoulder in May with Kaelyn, and all those bills ran us right around $6K.  I considered my options and if I could wait to see a regular doctor in the morning, but the Ski Patrol recommended we have him seen right away because the bone had looked rather displaced.

We gathered our things and headed to the nearest ER.


Once the bandage came off, it was clear that the bone was very, very broken.


This is not a natural position for a wrist to be in.  Thankfully, Darien was not in a tremendous amount of pain.  They took an x-ray and ultimately determined that they didn’t have anyone who could properly set the bone, so they sent us down to Sp*kane to see another ER doctor there.

Can I just say, at that moment, I was very upset.  TWO ER visits in one day???  Seriously??  My hopes that this might not be as expensive as Kaelyn’s shoulder were shattered.  And why couldn’t they just refuse me in the first place, if they were going to send me to Sp*kane anyway.


(Smiles because they just put a warm blanket around him)

The drive went smoothly and we arrived at our second ER.  Our doc was young and vibrant and full of energy.  He walked in announcing that he had set lots of arms like this, and immediately I liked him.  We talked about different options as I was hoping to avoid anesthesia, based solely on the fact that it is extremely expensive, and as cash patients, I was hoping to cut any corners that could be cut.


Darien was a trooper and went through all the motions with what seemed like a smile on his face.  They were able to do some local anesthetic, use traction, and set his arm while he sat there in a mild daze.


This photo shows some glazed eyes, I guess the drugs had kicked in a little more by this time!  It’s amazing what they can do these days with medical supplies and knowledge.  They got him splinted, x-rayed,  and soon we were ready to go home.

The good news is that, within the scope of broken bones, this was not a serious break.  The bad news is that I haven’t begun receiving all the bills yet.  I am hopeful we might get through this for less than $5K since he was not put under.  But with 2 ER visits in one day, it could be much worse than that.

Fab Abs

January Fitness Challenge

Sometime after Christmas, I stepped on the scale and was utterly shocked.  The number was just 5 pounds shy of the highest number I ever saw when I was pregnant with my first child.  And I’m NOT pregnant.  Something had to be done, and quickly!  My late night snacking habit and lack of exercise had to change, and immediately!

It wasn’t too long before a friend of mine posted this little calendar on her FB profile and simply said, “Who’s in with me?”  I immediately responded and said “I’m in!”


I started with Day 1 and worked my way through this calendar.  I also joined My Fitness Pal, and started tracking my calories and exercise diligently each day.  Boy, were my eyes OPENED!!  I was consuming 1000s of calories on junk food alone, and with no exercise to offset all the late night snacks, it was clear why the number on the scale had shocked me.

I set some goals, and I’m happy to say that since around January 7th, so just about a month ago, I’ve officially lost very close to 10 lbs.  My goal is 15 more lbs, a number I think I can reach, but more importantly, I just want to feel great, energetic, and I want to know that what I’m putting in my body, is serving a purpose in giving me nourishment and keeping my immune system alive and strong.  The best defense to disease is prevention, and with medical costs getting so high these days, the best defense for your pocket book is not to have to go to the doctor!

Besides doing the Fab Abs, I also did squats each day, adding 5 per day throughout the month of January, and finishing with 150 by the end of the month.  My current goal is to maintain Day 31 of Fab Abs, do my 150 squats, and jump on my mini tramp 20-40 minutes per day.  There is still room for improvement as I am doing girl push-ups, and I can only successfully do 2 minutes on the plank without cheating.  I’d like to be able to do “real” push ups, and hold a solid 2:30 plank before the year is up.

I have also been working on some flexibility, and occasionally I’ll do a Jillian Michaels DVD, if I really want to punish this body of mine!  I have a long way to go before I’ll feel fit, like the way I was during High School, but I feel so much better already, and I’m only a month into this new way of life.  I had aching muscles in my neck, and down the back of one leg, stemming from my tushie, and all of that pain is now completely gone!

And the best part is when I exercise, I can afford to have a treat now and then, which makes me happy because I still have a very strong sweet tooth!!

By KMc
© 2013 GraceWithoutTears.  All rights reserved.

New Year New Start

2013 has begun.  It’s time for a new blog.  I have actually had this blog sitting here and waiting for a long time.  I just haven’t had anything positive to share, or so it seemed.  The last 5 years have been the hardest of my life.  I am glad they are over.  I am glad I have learned through them.  I am stronger because of them.  They did not break me.

I am ready to move forward, ready to embrace the life God has given me, ready to give it my best effort.  There is nothing else to do but live the life you have, and live it to the fullest.  And so I embark on the same journey I’ve had for the past 5 years, and the years before that, but equipped with a resolve to make it the best life that it can be.  Welcome 2013.  Let’s see where this year takes us…

By KMc
© 2013 GraceWithoutTears.  All rights reserved.