Valentines Day and Aspergers go together like oil and water. I have tried for years and years to “shake them up” and get them to mix, but they just don’t. This year, I decided to do something differently.
About 3 weeks ago, while driving in the car with Daryl, I had a lightbulb moment about Valentines Day. I suggested we do a Valentines supper, invite some friends over, and just share the time with people that we enjoy being with. I told him if he would help me a little with the preparation, we could call it good, and he didn’t need to get me anything extra. It sounded like a good plan.
As the weeks got closer, I began to gather the things I would need to pull off my plan. I already had a heart-shaped waffle iron, and knew that I would make a nice waffle supper. I picked up some Valentine M&Ms and some chocolate Hershey hearts wrapped in foil to toss around the table, and a cheap white table cover to make it a little festive. I am always on the hunt for cute paper plates, so I had some trendy square plates, sporting a fun springy theme, that would work just fine for a Valentines Day supper.
Daryl kept his end of the bargain, with some gentle reminding, and helped me by getting two loads of dishes through the dishwasher today, and I got started on the decorations. I covered the table and tossed around the candy and found a few candles that were pink and white. I put the plates around and grabbed the vase of flowers from the breakfast table in the kitchen. Things were starting to take shape.
Our Valentine celebrations in the past have been anything but romantic or happy, and through experiences that neither one of us want to repeat, a general consensus was established. See’s Candy is an appropriate gift for Valentines Day. So, today, as I was setting the table, Daryl brought in this “expected” gift, said “Here”, handed it to me, and headed upstairs. Yup, that’s how it’s done. No kiss. No hug. No “I love you.” It’s the AS way. I’ve learned to accept it and be happy anyway.
So I added the heart box of candy to the table decorations.
We then filled our plates and sat down to our meal. Unfortunately, none of our friends were able to come (I only asked one family), so we just enjoyed it with the 5 of us. I was delighted to find out that Daryl bought a tiny heart box of See’s candy for Kaelyn as well, and thanked him for doing that.
The menu was heart-shaped waffles, toppings, scrambled eggs, and miniature shish-ka-bobs, that Kendrick made on toothpicks! Aren’t they cute?
We shared a happy meal together as a family.
The food was tasty and most importantly, there were no disappointments, no inflated expectations, and everybody did their part to help make it a special day. The boys cleaned up the dishes afterwards while the rest of us enjoyed a few moments to relax.
I think it’s possible this could become a Valentines Day tradition, only next year, I’ll send out some invitations ahead of time so people will have a chance to make it a priority on their calendars.
© 2013 GraceWithoutTears. All rights reserved.
Love, love, love this!!!
What a great way to make the day memorable! My dh is not romantic at all, so even without AS, Valentine’s day can be disappointing and hurtful. I like the idea of being proactive and having realistic expectations.
That looks like a really great idea and the sort of family time your kids will remember as a happy tradition if you carry it forward. How fantastic that he remembered that all the girls get candy! 🙂
Can I just say how proud I am of you, your new “attitude” and outlook on things:)
The decorations and food looked yummy! And I appreciated your advice and pep talk the other day too:) ❤ you!